Ai no Chou
by jade
Summary: One shot. Sometimes, you can try as hard as you want but you can't fix every problem. But you can make the best of every situation.


Okay, seriously, this came out in a random bit of amusing dialogue. Not meant to be serious but you never know when things like this are gonna hit. And it makes so much sense when you think about it! Of course! So…yeah…I'm just gonna write it now. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Ruby Moon or CCS. 

Warnings: Blatant shounen-ai (Okay the fact that its Ruby Moon should have said that) and stuff. 

Ai No Chou

_"To make a wish come true, whisper it to a Butterfly…" _

_                        -_Native American Legend

            If we had to assign jobs, I think Suppi-chan would say I was the unserious one. The one who didn't seem to realize I should be working. The one who never ever shouldered any responsibility unless forced to. 

            It's true from his point of view. I spend my time having fun, from his point of view. But it's not like life is one big party to me. In fact…I would say it's anything but. Maybe I should start at the beginning; otherwise the story won't make sense. And it's one that you really should know.

            In the beginning, the four of us, Yue, Cerberus, Spinel, and me were created by Clow Reed. To come out of the darkness and put into a physical form, to have my own voice, my own thoughts! It was wonderful! 

            I was so happy. Spinel would hang around reading and I would frolic around the house, usually bothering Clow Reed about everything in existence and asking endless amounts of questions that I deemed rather important. ("Why's the sky blue?" "Where does rain come from?" and some of the more important stuff, "How do you get your hair so shiny?") 

            Cerberus and Yue were left to their own activities, though Cerberus and I liked to eat cake, which seemed in endless supply. Yue was very serious and always spent all his time with Clow Reed. 

            I would spy on him sometimes. Yue would watch him for a distance, like through a window or around a door or behind a bookcase. Like a stalker except different somehow. I would see that look in Yue's eyes and I wondered what that was like.

            His eyes would focus on Clow Reed and he'd get this unreadable expression that puzzled me to no end. Until I discovered romance novels. Which lead to a great deal more questions that I had to ask Clow. All and all, life was good. Everyone seemed happy, except Yue.

            Yue needed something more from Clow. None of us could really guess but I was the first to figure it out, thank you very much. 

            He was in love with Clow. I announced this to Suppi-chan and Cerberus one morning. 

            "Really?!" Cerberus sat straight up in amazement. 

            "Took you two long enough to notice." Spinel rolled his eyes at us. "I've known for ages." 

            "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked in a pouting tone. 

            "Because it's their business." Spinel shrugged and turned a page. Then he shot me a look. "That means you are not involved and should stay un-involved. Are you listening to me Ruby Moon?" 

            In fact, I was not. 

            I was seeing dreams of the two being together and getting married and all the wonderful things I had read in my fairytale books! Clow was like the dashing knight…and I suppose you just had to cast Yue as the princess. But no biggie, right? 

            Anyways, I decided to go spy on them, for the good of the group. Or something to that effect. 

            Clow seemed to be noticing Yue more and more. Of course, Clow treated him the way he treated all of us. No matter how many questions I piled on him, he never got impatient. Just told me my curiosity was a good thing. The exact opposite of what Suppi might say. I watched them one afternoon when Clow caught Yue spying.

            Clow turned and quite suddenly flung open one of the windows. 

            "Yue?" He said the name and Yue came out from behind a tree. (It was romantic in my mind.) "What are you doing out there?" His mildly curious chirp was very infectious and it would have been impossible for Yue to resist.

            "Oh, er, nothing." Yue's nose twitched. (That was a very un-Yue like thing to do.) "I was just walking." 

            "Do you want to help me?" Clow asked kindly. Yue quickly went in through the window into Clow's private study. The rules of this study were that if Clow was in there, I wasn't allowed to come in with questions because he was working. I had never even _seen _the inside of the private study. 

            As I spied through the window, I watched Yue help Clow with some books. Clow was telling him about them but they sounded like the sort of books Suppi-chan read. The boring sort. 

            Then Clow closed one of the books and the conversation took an interested turn. 

            "Yue…" Clow hesitated. "I've noticed that you…aren't as happy as the others. Is there anything I can do?"

            "I'm content to be here with you." Yue bowed his head, almost shyly. 

            "I'm glad." Clow put a hand on Yue's shoulder. "But if there is anything bothering you, don't hesitate to tell me." Then his hand started to move but Yue grabbed it. My eyes widened and my face was pressed against the window. 

            "Actually…" Yue looked like he was trying to think of what to say. "I…I…" 

            "Yue…?" Clow tilted his head to one side. Yue let go of his hand and backed away. 

            "My apologies master." Yue bowed his head quickly. "I…I have to go." 

            "Yue?!" Clow called after him but Yue was too quick and was already out the door. 

            I didn't understand why Yue didn't just say something. If you were in love, you were supposed to go tell the person how you felt. And he had the perfect opportunity! That's right before the window was opened and I was discovered. 

            "Ruby Moon…" Clow sighed, and I gave him a big sheepish grin. "Come in here." 

            "Sorry, sorry." I quickly got into inside. "I was just walking past…"

            "And spying?" Clow gave me a look that told me he wasn't mad at me but at the same time he didn't exactly approve of it. Then suddenly, I had a great idea. Really, it seemed like a good one when I thought of it. It was actually kind of stupid. 

            "Yue's in love with you!" I told him. My logic was this: If Yue couldn't confess, then I could confess _for him_. Clow's eyes widened. 

            "What?" He blinked at me as if he had never seen me before in my life. 

            "Yue's in love with you. Has been for ages, at least that's what Suppi-chan said." I began to ramble. "I only figured it out a week ago but yeah." 

            "Is that…" Clow seemed to be thinking and I wasn't sure if I should say anything. "Ruby Moon, can you do something for me?" 

            "Okay!" I volunteered, sticking my hand in the air. 

            "Tell Yue…no…" Clow shook his head. "At breakfast tomorrow, I won't be there. And this is the where I will be, so be sure to mention it, okay Ruby Moon?" 

            I'll never forget the words he said to me. He wasn't even looking at me. He was looking out the window and I couldn't see his reflection. It seemed so unreal that it felt like his lips were just moving and there was no sound. I would have to repeat these words. 

            Because within them he had woven a spell to be sure that I would repeat them. That I would be the one who had to say it out loud. Was Clow Reed a coward? Maybe. Or perhaps he didn't want to cause any pain to us, his special guardians, almost like his children. Or maybe he was a coward and he couldn't stand the idea of more hurt to his soul. 

            I loved him like a father. Like a friend. 

            So I would do my duty. 

            Breakfast the next day was made by me. It had only burned a little and after much wailing, Suppi-chan finally said it was great. Cerberus was secretly eating a pudding under the table and Yue kept glancing at the chair that Clow always sat in. 

            "Where's the master?" Yue asked. And a ripple went through my entire body and I the spell took over. I had control, to an extent. I wouldn't be allowed to omit a single thing. 

            "He's gone to tell this woman who's in love with him that he can't be with her." I informed them. "He told me about it last night."

            "Why's he doing that?" Cerberus had pudding all over his whiskers. If he was going to not eat my scrumptious breakfast, he could at least have the decency to be secretive about it.

            "Because he said that anyone who fell in love with him should know that it's hopeless because of destiny." I shrugged. "Something like that." 

            Clow Reed had used me. He had used me to tell Yue that no, he couldn't be with him. Because he couldn't bring himself to do it himself. 

            Yue immediately stood up and walked out of the room. Spinel was glaring at me and Cerberus had an unsure look on his face.

            "What?" I tried to pretend that I had no idea what was going on. That I didn't realize Clow Reed made me crush Yue's heart. 

            "That was completely heartless of you Ruby Moon." Spinel's eyes narrowed at me. "Don't you think about these things before you say them?!" 

            "He's listening at the door." Cerberus told us. "And now he's gone." 

            "I do think about things!" I tried not to start sniffling. "You don't understand! Yesterday I told Clow—"

            "I told you it was none of your business." Spinel frowned at me. "Why didn't you listen to me? I told you not to interfere."

            "No, listen!" I tried to tell him. But Spinel wouldn't listen to me. 

            "I'm not going to sit here and pretend to like this bad food, I'm going to go read." Spinel left the dining room. Cerberus looked at me for a moment, almost like he was going to say something. I bet Cerberus would have listened to my story! And believe me too! 

            But Cerberus left as well.

            It was just me. I put my face in my hands and started crying. I had ruined everything. I picked myself up and rushed out of the dining room, down the halls, out the doors, and finally, out into the big open era that was the yard. But I ran past that. 

            I let my wings lift me into the air and I flew. And flew. And below me were so many different things, things I had never seen before. I tried to remember every question that came to mind but it was hard when there were so many of them. 

            The blue all around me and the green far below. And I, I was a butterfly, trying to find my flower. 

            A home that needed me and wanted me. I knew the others were very angry with me. But…they wouldn't listen to me. Listen to me say that the master had made me. It began to rain, before I realized it. 

            The rain made it very hard on my wings to fly and I was forced to land in a try. I stayed up there for a long time. Not wanting to go home. Just letting the water run down my skin and through my hair. 

            I think I fell asleep and the cold air and the wet made me feverish. A pair of warm arms lifted me and within a few moments I was someplace warm. No longer in my wet things but in dry sleeping clothes and my bed. My big bed. At the house. Had they come and found me. 

            I looked up to see Yue there. I opened my mouth to apologize but he put a gentle hand to my lips. 

            "It's okay Ruby Moon." Yue told me. "You worried us sick, you know?" I couldn't help it and sat up and threw my arms around Yue.

            "I'm sorry Yue, he made me." I tried to explain. "He made me…" 

            "I know." Yue patted my hair. It was then that I made my silent vow.

            _No matter what, I'll make sure Yue gets to be with the one he loves. I'll make sure Yue gets to be happy. _

Little did I realize what lengths I might have to go to.

-----------------------

            Because I suppose things _did _work out. I only found out later because I turned the corner to see Clow kissing Yue. My mouth dropped open and I immediately scuttled right back around the corner. 

            I didn't know what that was about but when I mentioned it to the others, Suppi-chan told me quite firmly not to interfere. That I was a troublemaker. But I knew Yue was happy. And that's what pleased me the best. 

            But then, one day Clow gathered us together. And put us all to sleep. 

            In my dreams I saw the years pass around us. I knew the land grew up and towns and cities came to be. And eventually, there came a day after all those where I was no longer sleeping but had been awakened. 

            Only one person could have woken me and Suppi-chan. 

            It was Clow Reed. 

            But much younger. He had to be twelve at the very most and I was leaning more towards eleven or ten. He told us that he was older then he looked, which I suppose in all fairness he was. 

            Why had he waited so long to wake us? 

            His name was no longer Clow Reed. He had died and been reborn as Hiragizawa Eriol. And he was different from Clow Reed in many ways. There was still that gentle smiling as I questioned him about all sorts of things. But behind the smiles and the politeness there was a sort of dead look to his eyes. Like he was sick and he needed something. 

            Eriol was good to us and promised us that soon we would get to go see the others. That they had a new master. It was okay, he told me and Spinel who were surprised; it was exactly what was supposed to happen. 

            He'd sit in the armchair that was at one time red but seemed to have faded to a sort of pink (which was my favorite color) and he'd get lost in thought. I knew he was thinking of Yue. 

            When we got to Tomoeda, I learned that Yue was around; I was to go to school with him! I was so happy to see him again that I didn't think about it. Eriol didn't seem quite so excited about seeing him again. 

            Why was that? 

            Then I met him. Tsukishiro Yukito. He was like Yue in some ways but a lot more cheerful, a lot more open, but it was Yue. Well that was fine, so he wasn't exactly the same? Him and Eriol could meet and fall in love and everything would be happy. Love transcends time, right?

            I didn't think that Yukito was his own person. Had his own feelings. And had lost his heart to another. 

            Kinomoto Touya was an attractive young man. Who could really blame Yukito? He had deep dark brown eyes and lovely brown hair. Who could be surprised that Yukito, our Yue, could fall in love with such a man? 

            And then, it was also the way that Touya always watched over him. It was the way he was always there. I think I might have been attracted to him. But not as much as I pretended to be. Maybe Eriol figured me out, but I'm not really sure.

            I thought, if I could get Touya away from Yukito then Yukito could fall in love with Eriol and then Yue would get to be with Clow Reed again. I'm naïve, as Spinel likes to remind me.

            But then Yue would get to be happy. 

            And I was a beautiful young…well, man or woman, take your pick. Surely Touya would be naturally attracted to my charismatic charm. And the Snow Bunny could take a hint and get lost. 

            But they really loved each other. 

            No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to get Touya to notice me, to stay around me, not to go to Yukito, it didn't matter. I was meddling again but nothing seemed to work. 

            I remembered that day that Clow Reed made me the deliverer of those terrible words. Is that how it was supposed to be? That if I did anything, it would end up working out badly? 

            Yukito and Touya. 

            You could see it in the way they walked with each other, the way they looked into each other's eyes. Their secret looks that only those who are in love can share, even if they didn't know the other loved them. I couldn't make them happy. I couldn't make anyone happy. 

            Eriol sank into a deeper depression. Spinel said that it was Eriol's business. But I wanted to help him. The sweet little boy who would go and sew my clothes when I accidentally tore a hole in one of the skirts, or go pick wild flowers and chase butterflies. He would play the piano to soothe us and cook like a genius. 

            But what could I do? If only I could speak with Yue…

            After the battle, after all the plots that Eriol had set up to help Sakura out, I did get to speak to him. Once again, I spied on the two of them. At the party, my eye at the door, watching them in the room. 

            And it was there they said their good-byes. I knew Yue was hurt and I knew Eriol would need time, so much time to think about the whole thing. How could I make Yue happy? 

            I went to him right after that. Before he turned back into Yukito. 

            "Yue." I stopped him with his name.

            "Hullo Ruby Moon." Yue smiled at me. "Take care of him, alright?"

            "I will." I bowed my head. "But…how can you give him up?"

            "Should Yukito have to give up the one he loves?" Yue asked me. And I tried to think of some solution. None came. "Clow told me, back in the beginning that one day…one day we wouldn't be able to be together…Yukito should get a chance to be happy, like the chance I got. You'll know one day Ruby Moon. To get to spend one day with the one you love makes up for all the time you can't be with them." 

            I hugged him again. And I knew just what to do. To make Yue's words to come true. 

--------------------

            "Okay…I'm supposed to meet him here." Yukito scratched the back of his head with one hand. He had received a letter from Touya that asked him to meet him here at the park. "I hope it's a surprise picnic!" He was not aware of the person watching him in the trees who had just hit their palm to their forehead. 

            Touya came running up, a letter in his hand. The watcher in the tree leaned in to watch closely. Touya had been sent the same letter, almost. A letter from Yukito that asked him to meet him there. And said three very important words. 

            Touya hugged Yukito and Yukito blushed, his glasses were askew but he hugged Touya back. 

            "I didn't know…" Touya pulled back. "How come you didn't say anything before?"

            "Before?" Yukito blinked, he had absolutely no idea what was going on but it involved Touya hugging him and therefore must be a good thing. 

            "It would have been a lot easier if you had." Touya told him and then suddenly, he kissed him. I knew this time I had gotten it right. 

            "Good luck Snow Bunny." I whispered up in the tree. "Someone very special gave up his happiness for you…so you better appreciate it." 

            _Au revoir…Yue…_

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            Go Ruby Moon! I love Ruby Moon! And Spinel and Eriol and Yue and Yukito and Touya. I'm not a biased fanfiction writer! (Actually I'm not because I also love Tomoyo and Meiling! And they weren't in this story. And Syaoran. And Yamazaki! I don't really *hate* anyone per se.) This fanfiction was kind of a take on that whole situation and how maybe it wasn't exactly as it seemed. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed. ^_^. Please review. 


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